


Coming Down

by taciturnchild



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Sadstuck, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taciturnchild/pseuds/taciturnchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One friend can save a life.</p><p>Sollux, be that friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Down

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Coming Down" by Five Finger Death Punch. The video is absolutely perfect. I suggest that you do watch that video. Thanks.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are pretty much sick of your life. 

Everyday, snide comments are passed to you whenever you go out on a walk and pass by someone. Everyday, people message you hurtful comments. Everyday, is another day of hell. Everyday, you make another scar. Everyday, you shed a tear or two. Everynight you cry yourself to sleep. Everynight, you break open your cuts, and your candy red blood (oh how you hate the sight of your horrible, mutant blood) trickles down your arm. Everynight, and everyday, you hide from everyone. Everyday, feels like another day of waste. 

You hear tapping on your window, and out there is Sollux Captor, your best friend. You still don't know how he even stands you. You always shout horrible words to him out of anger, but he always comes back and hangs out. The red and blue eyed boy floats outside your window, and you rush to let him in. He floats inside, smiling at you. 

"Hey, KK!" He says, waving.

"Hey, Sollux," You say, watching him as he looked around your hive. It became messier and messier everyday. You try to clean it every once in awhile, but you only cry teasr of old memories with the things you find. Old photos. Old trinkets. And worst of all, old things Sollux had given you back when you were younger. You two aren't the best of friends anymore. He's been busy with Feferi, his now matesprit. And you? Nothing. You don't have a beautiful matesprit, or even a moirail anymore. Gamzee ditched you.

Now you're more lonely than ever.

"What brings you here, anyways?" You asked.

"Can't I hang out with my betht friend?" He smied again. Damn that cursed smile. No, you aren't flushed for him. No, you just fucking miss him so much. When you two always hung out, he always gave that smile/smirk whenever he beat you in video games.

"No, it's just that you have been with Feferi a lot lately. I haven't hung out with you in ages," You say, looking away from his gaze. Fuck, why did you say that? He's just loving his matesprit. He doesn't always have to hang out with a freak like you.

"KK, I'm tho fucking thorry! I-I didn't know, I wath jutht with Fef, and I d-didn't notithe . . ." He walked to you, putting his hands on your shoulders.

"It's alright. I understand-"

"No, it'th my fault. Here, let me make it up by playing video gameth with you at my hive," He said, hope written across his face. Why not? You have been missing your gaming time with Sollux.

"Yeah, lets go do that."

You held on tight onto Sollux; hights weren't your favorite. He held you tight, whispering that it's almost over. You kept your eyes shut tight, your grip not loosening. Sollux's grip had loosened, and you whimpered. Was he going to let you fall? No, he wouldn't!

"KK . . . you can let go now. We're here now," Sollux said. You slowly uncling from him, and blink a few times. You blush, knowing that that always happens. Sollux chuckled, and walked off. He was most likely getting the video game started up. You arms started to itch.

_Fuck! Why now? Shit . . . I can't do it here . . . I doubt Sollux has anything sharp, and I kept my sickle back at my hive . . . I'm just going to have to keep it in, without scratching._

You always got itchy when you haven't cut yourself in awhile. But, if you itch too much, people notice. They'll ask if you need itch cream or something. Then you say no. They'll roll your sleeves up and see your dark secret. And that  _can't_ happen. Then'll they'll for surely leave you. Well, they already have. They're just doing it to make sure you stay alive so you can suffer more. 

"KK? Hey, KK!" Sollux waved his hands in front of your face, snapping you out of your trance. You shook your head, shaking out of it.

"W-What? Sorry . . ." You said quietly.

"I thaid, letth go play! The gameth are ready!" He pulled you to the couch, your sleeves riding up a bit. When he got you to sit down, you pulled them back down quickly, hoping that Sollux didn't see them. He didn't, and he handed you the blue controller. Doesn't he always have the blue one? The really good controller? 

"Sol, this is your controller. Why do I get it?" You asked. He stared at you in shock.

"You're actually athking that? You alwayth want the blue one, and if you don't get it, you get all grumpy and pouty. Why the thudden change?" He asked. 

Fuck.

"I-I . . . I was just wondering . . ." You looked away, soon pulling your knees to your chest; a habit you grew if someone on Trollian was throwing hurtful comments to you. You would curl up into a ball, light red tears going down your gray skin.

"KK? You alright? You have been acting weird . . ." Sollux asked.

"I'm fine, Sol. Don't worry, lets play the game," You smiled, and he slowly nodded, still giving you passing glances.

He was winning -of course- even with the shitty controller. You weren't really into the game; you weren't bashing the controller with rapid finger movement. Sollux paused the game, and stared at you.

"KK, tell me what'th wrong. You aren't even into the game that much. You alwayth are shouting curthe wordth at me, but now you aren't. What happened to the old KK I uthed to know?" He asked. Tears filled your eyes and you stood up, turning your back to him.

"I've just change, Sollux. Just- I'm going back to my hive," You said, walking out. Before you were able to walk out, Sollux pulled you back.

"KK, pleathe. What happened?" He pleaded.

 _Too many things. Too many hurtful words. Too many lies. Too many cuts. You don't understand, Sollux. I can't go on living like this. You have the perfect life; you got a matesprit, you got cool psionic power, you got pointy horns, you got so many good things. I, on the other hand, got no matesprit, no cool power, stupid nubby horns, and nothing good. Why do I even bother, Sollux? Why are you even bothering with me? With a_ stupid, worthless, idioitc, freak!

"Nothing, I've just changed. Now, please, let me go back home."

"You want me to fly you?" Sollux quietly asked.

"No."

You walked out, walking through the trees. Once you were far enough, you rolled your sleeves up. White and red lines trace both of your arms. Thousands of them. You scratched furiously at them, the scabs breaking and candy red blood seeping out. The blood rolled down your arm, down to your fingertips. The blood dropped off, landing with a  _splat_. The grass around you was soon candy red. You kept clawing at the cuts, tears running down your face. A sob ripped from your throat, echoing around you. You shakily stood up -you didn't even knew you sat down- and continued your way home; your blood leaving a trail.

As you appeared in front of your hive, the cuts have scabbed over, and your blood had dried to a dark red, almost a rust color. You walk inside, closing the door with a sigh. You barely make it to your room until you feel more tears coming. The voices screamed in your head, your arms burned, but it was okay. It felt good. Good knowing how worthless you really are. You heard dinging, and you knew someone was trolling you. You walk over there, seeing that it was just someone saying how worhtless and how you need to die. But then, Sollux messaged you.

TA: kk ii wa2 goiing to briing you home but ii only found your blood on the gra22  
TA: are you okay?! iim really worriied.   
TA: kk plea2e tell me you're okay  
CG: IM FINE ASSHOLE  
CG: NOW LEAVE ME ALONE

Fuck why did you say that!?

TA: mhm 2ure   
TA: well ii have to go   
TA: you 2ure everythiing ii2 okay?  
CG: YEAH

Please help me.

TA: okay...  
CG: OH SOLLUX  
CG: UH I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I UH THINK YOU ARE REALLY GREAT AND SHIT  
CG: I HOPE YOU AND FEFERI STAY TOGETHER FOREVER  
TA: thank2 kk!  
CG: YEAH SO I LOVE YOU (LIKE A FRIEND) AND YEAH  
TA: wow kk ii never expected you two 2ay 2omthiing liike that  
CG: WELL I DID SO YEAH  
CG: BYE SOLLUX

Light red tears streamed down your face. You knew once you said that you knew you were ready to end it all. You have been waiting to say that to him forever, and now you have. You got up, and walked into a closet, finding the rope. You originally planned to kill yourself by bloodloss, but you didn't want anyone else but Sollux to know about your blood color. Well, Terezi might, but you doubt it. The blind girl hasn't been near you in ages. 

You set the rope up, and soon it was perfectly set up. You kept it there, and changed into a clean sweater and pants. You decided that you should maybe leave Sollux a note, showing how much you really are going to miss him, but how you know everyone will be happy you are gone. You get a pencil and paper, and started to write down in your messy writing.

_Dear Sollux,_

_So yeah, I can't believe this is it. I mean, c'mon, I've been planning this for about one and a half sweeps. I mean, I don't know if you'll even find me until you decide that I haven't answered you in about a week, you would finally know something is up. But yeah. You wanna know something? I'm really, **really** , going to miss you. You are my only true friend; Terezi was somewhere up there, but then she became one of  **them**. One of those who scream words at me. They make the voices scream loud, and clear. But, you would be there, (sometimes) and you would make those voices go away. But then, (I totally understand) you and Feferi became matesprits. I was beyond happy for you. But, then your words couldn't scream those voices away. But that's okay. I knew you and Fef would become matesprits eventually.  
_

_But I guess this is goodbye, huh? I mean, I can't go on living like this. I think I was a mistake. An accident. But, I know you weren't. I mean c'mon, you got awesome psionic powers! And a smart mind, and you can always do something awesome just like that. Me? No no no no no. I can't do something like that and make everyone wonder what's it's like to be like me. But, please, keep Feferi happy. I doubt you two will even get in a fight. You two are so perfect for each other. I wonder if I was special I could have a relationship like you and Fef._

_I should tell you what I have done to myself. My sweaters are a big part of it. Can you guess it? No, no one can. Why? Because no one has done it before. I like to cut myself. Like, take my sickle and cut my arm up. Not deep gashes, just lots of scratches, some deep and some not so deep. Some long, some short. Sometimes I like to write words on my skin. Like, "mutant" or "freak" or "worthless". Ooh, worthless really discribes me. Well, this is really all I have to say . . . oh, one more thing Sollux. Could you do me a favor?_

_Tell everyone I'm sorry for being who I am. Tell them **I'm**   **so fucking sorry. So sorry for being who I am, and how I am.** I guess I'm just a stupid fuck up. _

_Thanks, and I will miss you so **so** much,_

_Karkat Vantas_

_  
_You folded it up, and walked over to your noose. You stepped on the stool you used to get it up, and you adjusted your neck on the noose. You held onto the note tightly, and when you pushed off of the stool, you hear someone shout, "No!" Your neck burned, you couldn't breath, and before you knew it, everything was black.

 

~

 

You heard voices, and holy fuck why are they so loud? Why the hell is someone shining a light in your face? Ugh why can't they just fuck off! You groaned, and slowly opened your eyes, blinking a lot to get used to the light. Soon everything was dead quiet. Your eyes finally focused, and  _everyone_  was there. Even Vriska and Eridan. What's going on?

"KK!" You heard Sollux say, and you were soon being crushed by him. Soon everything flooded back into your mind. Did . . . did someone save you? Someone had too, because Sollux was crying, and your throat burned, you couldn't talk, and soon someone had gotten Sollux off of you.

"S...S-Sol..." you weakly said. Kanaya shushed you by putting her fingers on your lips. She handed you paper and pencil, and you wrote on it.

"Why is everyone here? This isn't right . . ."

"Karkat, dear, you tried killing yourself . . . Sollux saved you. He was crying so much, everyone was crying when they heard," Kanaya said, tears flooding her eyes.

"Yeah, when the message got around, everyone was here instantly. Why didn't you ask for help?" Feferi asked. You wrote on the paper again.

"I already did."

Everyone read it, and stared oddly at you. You did, though. You acting strangely, you running from almost everything, you never pulled your sweater sleeves up when it was hot out, you gave lots of messages to them. Especially on Trollian. You wouldn't answer anyone but Sollux. Even with Sollux you barely answered him.

"H-How? KK . . . you're not talking about the latht time you were over, are you?" Sollux asked, yellow tears still flowing down his face. You nodded. You wrote on the paper again.

"I stopped talking to you guys. I stopped being so angry. I just stopped. And did anyone notice? No, just Sollux. He asked if I was okay after the time I was at his house. I lied, yeah, but how else could I tell him without him being pissed at me? I'm surprised none of you have killed me yet because of what just happened."

"Karkat, we couldn't ever be motherfuckin' mad at you for that kind of shit. Sure we might be motherfuckin' mad at ya for somethin' else, but we wouldn't ever motherfuckin' mad at you for that," Gamzee said. 

"Evven if wwe aren't the greatest of friends, we still care," Eridan added.

"Yeah, and even if we were a big bitch to you, and might've of caused this, we still care somewhat down inside," Vriska said. You aren't sure about her, but you keep listening to the others.

"I was terrified when I felt the danger of someone close to being dead. Sollux talked to me about your strange behavior, and I was sure you tried to kill yourself," Aradia said quietly.

"I, uh, would be, uh, really sad, if you, uh, died. I'm glad Sollux, uh, saved you," Tavros said. When did he get robotic legs?

"I wouldn't evfur furrgive myself if you died!" Nepeta said, olive tears running down her face.

"Karkat . . . I hope you know I'm really sorry for the words I said," Terezi said from farther back in the room. You just stayed quiet.

"I would be very sad that my leader died. I don't think I could lead as good as you can," Equius said. 

Feferi was completely bawling. "Oh Karkat! I'm so sorry for taking Sollux away from you! I don't think I will ever forgive myself for this!" She bursted into more tears, and your eyes were completely wide.

"F-Fef . . . i-it isn't yo-your f-f-fault," It hurt so much to talk, but you had to say it aloud. "It's f-fine. I und-unders-sta-stand yours a-and Sol's r-r-relat-relation-relationship."

"Karkat! Don't speak, you can permantly lose your voice if you continue to speak!" Kanaya scolded, and you looked down. Once you wake up from a failed suicide,  _of course_ you get scolded, or do something wrong. Your legs were against your chest, and your arms wrapped around them.

"Kanaya . . . he didn't knoww. Don't be so hard on him. He just, uh, almost killed himself," Eridan said. Tears had gone down your face and onto your pants. You don't know how to handle this. There were quiet murmurs, and soon there was a hand on your head, scratching around your horns. You instantly stop crying, and lean into the touch. Fuck, it had to be Sollux. Only he knew this spot.

"KK, it'll be fine . . . do you want to thtay at my hive until you're better?" Sollux offered. You stayed still, and soon nodded. Your head was still covered by your legs, but while you were distracted by Sollux's continuous scratching, someone undid them and your face showed, while a few light red tears went down your face.

You covered your face with your arms, wiping away the tears.

"Karkat, calm down! It's okay!" Feferi said, putting her hand on your other horn, scratching around the base. You started to purr uncontrollably, and you mentally cursed at yourself. Fef giggled, and you felt blood rush to your face as both trolls pleased you by scratching around your horns. You heard Terezi laugh, for your eyes were closed in pleasure. 

For once, you didn't feel itchy and had the urge to cut yourself.

For once, the voices were all gone. Not one whisper.

For once, you felt actually happy. 

For once, you want to live.

Just like this. By your friends, laughing and doing other silly things.

"Thanks, guys . . ." You whispered, smiling.

 

.

 

One friend can save a life. Be that friend.


End file.
